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Why don’t we start from the beginning of the day on June 29th.

6:45 am I woke up for the day. I noticed that I was feeling crampy and the cramps would get stronger about every 10 minutes or so. Matt and I watched the clock for an hour to see if it would continue or not. They were super mild, but seemed very regular and didn’t go away.

Around 8ish I phoned the midwife to tell her what was up. She told me to change my activity and see if that changed anything. Up-till-now I had been in bed, so I got up to start the laundry and continue working on my massive to-do-list of things to be done before baby.

At about 8:30 or so I sent a worried husband off to work and told him it was probably nothing and he should just go to work.

During the next couple of hours I texted her a couple of times telling I didn’t think anything had changed and I was still getting them regularly. She told me not to think about them or clock them cuz she said they could go on for days like this. (She didn’t think it was the real deal just yet.) I was suppose to carry on as normal.

Throughout the day Matt kept emailing and attempting to call me (I was busy working on things and didn’t get to the phone most times.) He wanted updates and I told him they were still there but the same or maybe a lil worse. This is pretty much what I was telling the midwife as well. I remember thinking that I didn’t want to sound like a big baby or an exaggerator if it wasn’t real, so I was kind of down playing it I guess… They did start to intensify a lil bit come late morning/noonish. I told the midwife this around maybe 2 or 3. I have had bacteria showing up in my urine for the past 5 or more weeks so she was also wondering if it was  a bladder infection and the bladder was spasming and causing contractions/cramps. She called me in an order at Weland to have my pee tested and cultured so that we’d know for sure about that. She had also suggested that I could drive to I.C. and she could check me if I’d like. Knowing that the contractions weren’t that comfortable I didn’t really want to drive 30-40 minutes AND I was still concerned that it wasn’t the real thing and I’d just look like a fool. I opted to start with the pee thing since it was closer. On my way home in the car they were getting a bit stronger and I was thinking to myself that I was glad I wasn’t on my way to I.C. and I’d be back home soon.

I went to Weland at about 3:15 and the results came back shortly after that. The midwife called me soon after and said that there was an infection, but it wasn’t too bad. We decided to go the medicine route and she would call me in a prescription. I had been fighting the medicine the whole time I kept getting the bacteria results with the pee strips at my appts. I wanted to make it go away on its own. I phoned Matt and asked if he could pick it up after he got off of work at 5:30.

The midwife kept telling to just change up my activity and also suggested a warm bath, so I stopped working on things and jumped in the bathtub. By this point things were getting more uncomfortable, but I was afraid it was all in my head or something. I kept just saying that I THINK it’s intensifying. While in the tub my dad and Sue showed up. Perhaps around 4:30 or so. I stayed in there and didn’t really want to talk to Sue whenever one came. I started timing them again for about 15 minutes or so. A new one would start about 3-4 minutes after the last one would start, and I was estimating that they’d last for about a minute. I didn’t have a second hand. I called the midwife to tell her. She still didn’t think it was the real deal and I was STILL worried to be completely clear as to how things were feeling in fear of looking like a fool if it wasn’t the real thing.

Dad and Sue left to go pick up stuff from Menards. I asked them if they wanted me to go with. (I did NOT want to go, but I felt obligated, so I offered in hopes that they’d be oh, no, you stay here.) Sue was worried about leaving me cuz she thought I was in labor and considering that contractions were already about 2-3 minutes apart. They left tho, and then by 5:05 I called Matt told him that I really wanted him to come home. I was in near tears and just wanted someone there with me. I think I was just getting more and more emotional about whether or not it was real and being worried about what others were thinking….along with the fact that they were getting to the point that I was wanting to cry a bit! I also called the midwife and told her that they were starting to make me tear up. She was like, this is awfully sudden, Tonya! She had been trying to get a hold of the assistant to have her come check on me, but at this point she decided to just come herself. I also called Dad and told them not to come back. I was hurting too much to want anyone but Matt and the midwife present.

Matt went to go get my prescription at about 5:30, but they said that they didn’t have the order. He was going to call the midwife, but I told him to forget about the medicine and just come home! He got home shortly before the midwife arrived and I immediately put him to work. I really wanted someone with me, but there was simply too much to do!!!

At about 6:15 the midwife came in and saw me. She once again said this came on really quickly, and then she checked me in between contractions. I was 4cm by this point and she informed me that this was the real deal! I wanted to cry cuz of all that fear and worry I put myself through all day about peopling thinking I was exaggerating about feeling things or whatever. I was relieved to know I wasn’t crazy. I even had her restate that it was real. She said it was probably going to be a while yet and was going to go back home. We could call the assistant for some duola support whenever we’d like. I actually wanted her there now, but once again I was worried about what people would think. I really didn’t want to look like a big baby…so I waited…a whole half an hour maybe! lol

At about 7:45 Cammy got here and checked me at about 7:50ish or so. She said I was almost 6 cm and called Kathy to let her know. At this point I was in a lot of pain and was screaming not like a warrior woman, but like a crazy psycho cave woman or something! :-p This crazy psycho screaming and crawling all over the bed on all fours continued for the next hour. (We did try the shower very briefly while waiting for Matt to get the tub put up.) My contractions did not only piggy back each other with a double, but most were triple back contractions! (I confirmed this with the assistant today when she visited us.) So not only was I getting 3 in a row, but the in between time between my triples still had me contracting…just not as intensely.

At about 8:55ish my water broke and then I just started pushing. Not because I felt like I needed to or that I even felt like I was doing the pushing. I just was! Cammy called the midwife and told her the water broke and that I was pushing. At this point she was sounding a bit panicky, but told Kathy not to speed and we’d be fine. She got gloves out in case she’d have to be the one to deliver the baby and Matt kept working on the pool. (She told me today that as quickly as things were going she was thinking I’d give a few pushes and she’d be here!) Cammy kept telling me that I was going really, really fast and that was why it was probably feeling so intense for me. I didn’t understand why the pain didn’t go away in between contractions and was very upset about this as I had read and been told by numerous people, including Kathy, that there would be breaks. Sure there was a break from the horrible psycho screaming cave women, but there was no real break to re-group or re-focus! I had cramping/contractions literally non stop from the time I woke up. They would just not be as intense in between the surges. During that hour from 6-10 cm. and for a bit after that I pleaded to be knocked out and just have the baby taken out of me! My worst fear of the way to deliver was exactly what I WANTED…at the time… :-p Cammy kept telling me I didn’t want that and I kept assuring her that I did as I screamed through the contractions and repeated over and over that everyone lied to me.

Shortly after my water broke the pool was filled some what high enough to get in, so I jumped in. Still on all fours I screamed and did some pushing and shared my displeasure of being lied to some more. (Matt said it was about every other contraction that I brought up how I was lied to.) Little by little the screaming started to subside and more pushing came. The midwife arrived as well. By the end of it I was no longer screaming and I got those breaks that everyone told me I’d have through out labor! Finally…except now my arms were so exhausted from holding myself up on all fours for the past couple of hours or more and during the last few my legs started to cramp up! At that point the leg cramping was the most painful thing going on. I enjoyed the breaks that actually seemed longer than before and wished I could lie down for a lil nap. Matt and Cammy kept giving me water and rubbing my face and forehead with a cold cloth. I had gotten so hot in there!

I growled through most of my pushes, and asked about how hard and long it would be to get the shoulders out after the head. The midwife said they’d be easy and it’d be the contraction after the head comes out. When the head popped out I was like I’M DONE WITH THIS! So at 10:35 pm on June 29th I pushed and got her all out on the same contraction. Kathy pushed her forward and told me to reach down and grab her. I sat back and scooped my baby up out of the water and into my arms. I was so weak and didn’t know if I could even hold her up out of the water. I just wanted to go to sleep, and was so relieved that it was over. Matt came over and put his arm around me and shortly after that they helped me out of the pool and onto the bed to deliver the placenta.

I still had Kathrina and lied there for a few minutes until Kathy clamped the cord and Matt cut Kathrina from it. Then I had to give my one and final push to get the placenta out. Ahhhh….finally, we’re done….or so I thought.

Matt took Kathrina and I got to lie there longer to be sewn up. I had no strength to hold my legs up and that was bad enough while she inspected the area…Then I find out I have a second degree tear and need stitches…and shots! Ahhh! I hate needles! I hate things inside of me! So here I am after giving birth to a baby literally hiding under the blanket and making noises and practically crying like a big baby! I was all numbed up now, but acting worse than I was while pushing her out! (Although not like I was earlier while on the bed. :-p) Matt tried to distract me with Kathrina, but at this point I was bitter about the fact that I was going through this due to her coming out of me and me tearing! Little did he know…

Finally they were done with me and Kathrina had already peed through 3 blankets onto Daddy, so I asked if we could do the weight and stuff now. We sure could, so that’s what we did. The circumference of her head was 35 cm, her length was 19 inches, she weighed 7 lbs 13 oz after peeing, looked great, and was nice and alert and strong. The midwife said that she was perfect on it all. Yay!

At some point there was breast feeding in there. I can’t remember if that was before or after the measuring. They said she was doing great and that she was very interested in nursing and had a strong latch….no one had to tell me how strong that latch was/is! Eek! (Today I found out, from Cammy, that Kathrina had the strongest latch that she has felt from a newborn!)

By 2am the midwife had taken off and the three of us were in our very own home, in our very own bedroom – where I had just given birth a few hours earlier, in our very own bed, and ready to drift off to sleep for our very first night with Kathrina sleeping next to us instead of inside of me. <3

~~~Labor was about 4 and half hours and pushing was 1 hour and 47 minutes. Can you say fast and then fast again? I must be a warrior woman pusher! I even have a broken blood vessel in my left eye to prove it! :-p

Forgot to mention… At one point during the pushing breaks I thought I’d make a funny, so I asked where the aliens were. No one laughed… boo to them. :-p

Next is Matt’s take on the day…

                I started my day by waking up and helping to take care of Tonya.  I got her breakfast, took the clothes outside to be hung up on the line and then proceeded to go to work.  I was aware that she was having some discomfort, although she said it was cramping and she wasn’t 100% sure if they were regular contractions or Braxton-Hicks Contractions.  I was a bit worried but she assured me that she would be fine. 

                During the day I tried to keep my mind off of things.  It was a busy day at work, so that helped quite a bit.  Every time I spoke with Tonya she assured me that things hadn’t changed and that she was just mildly uncomfortable, so I had no reason to really think any differently.  I ate lunch with a friend from work; she informed me that she was done as of the end of the day.  I remember joking with her that hopefully my last day there would be soon.

                Around 3:30ish I received an e-mail from Tonya explaining that she had to go to Weland Labs to verify if she had a bladder infection or not, still sounding normal.  It wasn’t until Tonya called me at 5 that I realized the severity of the situation.  All day long she had been calm and collected when she spoke with me, but during the last call she was definitely upset and was in pain.  I grabbed my things and rushed out to Target to get the medication she had on order before coming home.  My co-workers were happy to hear that this may have been it, and my mind was a rush of what to expect, what needed to be done, and how I was going to be able to hold my daughter sometime within the next 48 hours.

                After a wasted trip to Target (the prescription was not filled when I got there), I got home and Tonya simply told me that she was going to give me a list of things to do.  I was quite a bit nervous because what she had told me she was feeling was clearly not what I was seeing from her.  I had no doubt that today was the day she was going into labor.  I worked on the list as best as I could, while trying to tend to Tonya as she needed help.  We had a lot of things that needed to be done, namely getting the bedroom ready for childbirth.  I had not gotten the Christmas lights up, we hadn’t gotten the birthing pool yet, we had received the birthing kit in the mail the same day (although I was unaware of this so that was also on my mind all day) I set about my tasks as best as I could, trying to divide my attention to finishing the tasks at hand and helping out Tonya, who was in a lot of pain and discomfort.  It didn’t take too long before her contractions started quickening and growing in intensity, and I all but ignored the other tasks. 

Shortly after I arrived home, the midwife came over and checked Tonya to see how far along she was, she determined that she was 4 cm along and that this wasn’t false labor.  I think we were both a bit relieved, as well as scared about how the rest of the night would play out.  The midwife left and told us she’d come back later, in the meantime if we needed help we were to contact her assistant. I think both of would have been happier if she had stayed and helped her for the entire time instead of going back out to run errands, but at the same time no one anticipated things going as quickly as they did and we all thought we still had a long night ahead of us.

                I called the doula about 45 minutes after the midwife had left, because Tonya was in severe pain and I felt that the contractions were coming on far more quickly than what I expected.  Looking back I’m glad I called when I did, and not any later.  Cammy showed up and checked Tonya to find that she was already dilated another two centimeters from just under 2 hours prior, and proceeded to help Tonya through her contractions until the midwife arrived.

                To be honest, at this point I was incredibly relieved because she has a lot of experience in this kind of situation and I had zero, so I knew she was in good hands.  I set about getting the pool inflated and filled while Tonya was in the shower trying to lessen the contractions.  The good news is that everything worked as it was supposed to, the bad thing is that I spent almost all of the rest of the labor time working on getting the pool filled and getting things in order.  The labor had come on so quickly and was progressing so rapidly that I had to not only use a hose, but also boil water in three separate pots just to get the pool filled in time for Tonya to use it.  Even after she was fully dilated and was pushing, I was still adding water to the pool.  With the exception of the last 10 minutes or so of her delivery, I really wasn’t there supporting Tonya like I was expecting to.

                When the midwife had arrived (roughly an hour before birth), Tonya had fully dilated, and she was already pushing.  I spent my time trying to help support her (she had been on her hands and knees for at least 4 hours at that point) and to cool her down with ice chips and a wet washcloth.  I offered to get into the pool to help support her but she didn’t want me in there.  She was getting tired but was being a real trooper.   I knew she was getting close to delivery, but I really wasn’t completely prepared for when she gave one final push and Kathrina was in her arms.

                It’s hard to explain, but it was really a surreal moment.  All of the sudden the anticipation, pain, and hard work seemed to disappear, and in its place was a calm Tonya, carefully cradling our newborn daughter.  I was a bit overwhelmed at first and eagerly watched as Tonya held her close and rubbed her.  Kathrina was barely out of the water and she had started crying.  I teared up and was so incredibly happy to finally see my daughter, but just as much so proud of my wonderful wife for all she had accomplished. 

                The rest of the evening was a bit of a blur.  Tonya was taken over to the bed and had a bit more work to do.  She delivered the placenta and had to get stitched up.  I got to cut Kathrina’s cord, and afterwards I held her and carried her around the house while Tonya was being tended to.  Tonya has an intense fear of needles so I did my best to comfort her, although looking back, my methods of trying to calm her were not a good idea at the time.  Eventually she was stitched up and I handed Kathrina over so she could try to be breastfed.  Kathrina was born at 10:35pm, and the midwife left the house around 2ish.  I remember feeling a sense of peace about the house as the three of us went to sleep. 

                I guess my feelings were probably fairly typical of a father-to-be.  I was incredibly anxious the entire morning/afternoon while I was working, and when I got the call I was both excited and scared at the same time.  We took a class on birthing and there was some information on helping with birthing pains, but in all reality I didn’t really know what to expect.  I was scared the entire time that I wouldn’t be able to help Tonya during the labor.  Before the doula came over I just rubbed her back/sides as best as I could, but I felt pretty useless.  Once Cammy showed up I was able to get things started, which helped me to be a bit less stressed. 

                The absolute hardest part of the entire process was dealing with Tonya.  Not that she was demanding or yelling at me or hitting me for causing this, but seeing her in pain.  Its hard to see someone you love in pain, and the amount of pain she was in was nearly unbearable for me, especially because I knew that there wasn’t much I could do aside from pray.  I did pray quite a bit, asking God to help give me the strength to help Tonya through this process, and for Him to give her strength to give birth to a healthy baby.  Tonya (although she might say differently) did a fantastic job, and I am so proud of her.

                As for Kathrina, I’ve been a very proud father.  I was very excited to get to announce to people that she had been born, and I know that everyone was happy to hear the great news. One of my favorite things right now is holding her in my arms, and watching her open her eyes and look up at me.  I constantly remind her that she is loved, not just by us but by a number of family and friends, and I am sure to tell her that I love her at least 3 or 4 times every time I am near her.  She is an incredibly beautiful girl and I feel so blessed that she is a part of our family.

Pictures to follow VERY soon!!!

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